Remembrance of the dead. Big Day of Remembrance - Parents' Saturday Which people should not be commemorated in church?

Since ancient times, funeral traditions have been passed down from generation to generation. People follow them even today, remembering loved ones who are no longer in this world.

Commemoration of the dead: folk customs

Even before the adoption of Christianity, the Slavs devoted a lot of time to commemorating their deceased relatives. Today, pagan and church traditions are intertwined in many ways. Often the accepted Orthodox tradition Parents' Saturdays. But initially, of course, there were differences. To this day, it is believed that the dead never leave us completely. There is even a way to protect yourself from bad influences by awakening the protection of the family. This may have been the reason for such careful commemoration of the dead.

Traditionally, the Slavs commemorated the dead on Semik and Rusal Week, on Radonitsa and Easter of the Dead, as well as on Trinity Week. Ukrainians and Belarusians also had a holiday called Grandfathers. On each of these days they remembered their deceased relatives and loved ones. The days of Mermaid Week were especially eventful, since it was believed that children and girls who did not die a natural death walked the earth at this time. To appease them, they performed some rituals, supporting long-standing folk traditions.

In addition to going to the cemetery, we cooked traditional dishes. Traditionally, funeral food includes pancakes and kutia. They also cooked jelly. The food was taken to the cemetery and left there, and some was also distributed to the poor. It is believed that before the adoption of Christianity, the Slavs held funeral meals at the graves of their fellow tribesmen. In some places, on Radonitsa, people had a custom of specially heating a bathhouse. The people themselves did not wash there. They left clean clothes for the deceased, and in the morning they looked for traces of the dead in the ashes scattered in advance.

All Souls Days

From time immemorial, the dead were commemorated on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death, as well as a year later. Subsequently, the commemoration on the fortieth day was associated with Orthodoxy: the soul of the deceased during this time experiences ordeals before it can be accepted into heaven or hell, as Christians believe. People also say that on the third day the image changes, on the ninth the body decays, and on the fortieth the heart. In the Christian tradition, this custom is associated with faith in the Triune God. In this way, the living ask God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to forgive the sins of the deceased.

According to church tradition, the deceased are remembered on their birthday and on the day of the Angel. Among other things, the church establishes special dates for the remembrance of the dead - Parents' Saturdays. They are often tied to certain events and holidays. There are two Ecumenical Parental Saturdays a year. They are important because the liturgy commemorates not only those who died a natural death, but also suicides, for whom the church, according to the rules, does not perform funeral services. In addition to them, they commemorate all those who died not by natural causes or who were not buried. The first of the Ecumenical Parental Saturdays is Meat Saturday, before Maslenitsa (cheese) week. The second is the Saturday before Trinity. Also, Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent and some other days are set aside for the commemoration of the dead. Read more about Parents' Saturdays and all others Christian holidays you can find out from the Orthodox calendar for next year.

The Church's opinion on commemoration of the dead

Correctly remembering the dead is considered prayer and almsgiving. According to the church, the more often you do this, the more you save the soul of the one for whom you pray. They usually wear black or dark blue clothes, often not new. The remaining usual attributes of mourning are traditionally considered pagan and, from the point of view of the church, incorrect.

To this day, it is common to place empty cutlery for the deceased and even leave the place where he usually sat. An even more common practice is to pour a glass of vodka for the deceased and place a piece of bread on it. The Church considers such pagan traditions to be incorrect, but they are widespread and familiar to the people, so everyone chooses according to their faith.

Right and wrong are relative concepts. The only advice that can be given in such a matter is to treat the deceased with respect. Even if you consider yourself a believing Christian, there is no need to perform a funeral service for an atheist if he did not want this before his death. The same applies to representatives of other faiths: the deceased would like his burial to take place exactly according to the rules that his faith sets for him. Therefore, see him off on his last journey, taking into account the characteristics of this person. But praying for loved ones is not prohibited. The more often you go to church and read prayers for your family, the more noticeable the well-being in your home will be.

In such a sensitive issue as the remembrance of the dead, the ancient Slavs showed respect and love for family and ancestors. We wish you close and mutually warm relationships in your family, and don't forget to press the buttons and

Number of entries: 276

Father, the day after the funeral, relatives go to the grave and bring “food” to the deceased. Where did this come from? And is this true?

Valentina

Valentina, according to church regulations, we commemorate the dead on days 3, 9 and 40. When we go to a grave, we need to pray and serve a memorial service. Why does a dead person need food? We, the living, need food, but they only need a prayer for the repose of her soul. It is, of course, wrong to take food to the grave of a deceased person. This is a pagan tradition. It especially began to spread after the revolution, when it was forbidden to talk about God, to be baptized, to pray and to serve requiem services at the grave. People began to bring food to the grave (instead of prayer), pour vodka on the grave, leave a glass of vodka - well, why all this? The deceased needs our prayer and alms for his soul, good deeds in his memory.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello! On March 23, my husband will be 40 days old, he is not baptized, I am reading a prayer at home, I received a blessing from the priest, but tell me, please, I can go to the cemetery on the 40th day, because it will be fasting? Since it will be Saturday and my children are not in kindergarten or school, when can they hand out candy (after or before the 40th day)? Thank you very much, sorry if I composed my letter a little incorrectly.

Veronica

Veronica, as you already know, the church does not pray for unbaptized people. Those who are not baptized are not members of the church. No one forbids you to pray for them at home, and of course, you can go to the cemetery whenever you want. It is not customary to go to the cemetery in Sundays, on big days church holidays and on Easter. The most suitable day is Saturday. All parental remembrance take place on Saturday. You can always give alms for the deceased, but most of all this must be done before 40 days.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Good afternoon, I would like to consult. On March 20 it will be a year since my father passed away. What is the correct date to hold a funeral dinner? March 20 falls in the first week of Lent. At the church I ordered mass for the 20th. Who says that you can’t do it on Forgiveness Sunday either. Who says it’s impossible later, only earlier. Tell me please. Thanks in advance.

Michael

Michael, the most important thing is not a funeral dinner, but our prayer for our close relatives. According to church regulations, there is no Liturgy (mass) on March 20th. You need to serve a memorial service and attend it yourself. Great (strict) Lent begins on March 18 and, of course, a funeral meal is not held on March 20. The funeral meal can be done on March 17, during Maslenitsa, there is nothing wrong with that. But we must remember that meat products are not allowed to be consumed during Shrovetide; all products except meat are allowed.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello! My grandmother died on February 28th, 9 days falls on March 8th. Our priest said that the memorial dinner could be held on March 9, since it would be a memorial Saturday. But this will already be 10 days from the date of death. Is it possible?

Vasilenko Larisa

Larisa, perhaps your father is right, but I would slightly clarify his advice: so that your conscience is not embarrassed, come to the service on March 8, pray for your grandmother at the litany, which will be celebrated at the end of the morning service, and submit a note of repose for the Saturday Liturgy . On Saturday it is also very advisable to be at the service, and after it you can have a memorial meal at home - on Saturday the fast is weakened, and besides, many people have a day off, which is convenient.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Father, bless! My husband and I are married, and we constantly attended services in our church. We lived for almost 15 years. But he went to another city to visit his mother (a dysfunctional family) on the anniversary of his brother’s death. The commemoration, which is natural for such a family, took place with drinking alcohol. Fell into fornication. He returned, but behaved like a zombie, could not stay at home for long, and flew out of the house as if spellbound. All the friends who saw him during this time said that he had become something different. I suspect that that woman bewitched him, his behavior was so unnatural. I also know that she herself uses drugs and has a particularly dysfunctional lifestyle. I am offended that he left me, but I also feel sorry for him that he will lead the same lifestyle with her, leading to hell, if he does not repent. Father, what should I do - film the wedding, or somehow pray for the salvation of his soul and the restoration of our marriage?

Faith

Hello Vera. This misfortune happened because both your wedding and your church life were mechanical, according to custom. It's supposed to get married - we got married. It was supposed to go to the holiday - we went. And they confessed and took communion. But at the same time there was no spiritual life. There was no effort required to enter the Kingdom of God. And therefore, the grace given in the Sacraments did not transform you at all. She remained infertile. And now you continue to look not inside but outside - “bewitched”, “bewitched”, all the reasons are somewhere outside. The passion of fornication is very evil and strong; whoever has given himself into its power, even if he repents and begins to strive against it, will have sorrows for many years. And if he does not repent, or repents but does not make any effort to fight it, he will perish. You can only pray. Moreover, first of all, pray for yourself: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” Only one who cleanses his soul can help others in the same way.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, Abbot Nikon! I contacted you with a question about the death of my daughter and the melted icon pendant. You say that this is not a punishment, but why do young, kind, life-loving people die under the wheels of drunkards? What is this - fate, God's providence or human stupidity?

Olga

Olga, let’s better not grumble at God and not be angry with Him because here on earth something is incomprehensible and unfair in our opinion, but listen to ourselves and save ourselves - this is what the Lord Himself actually said to St. Anthony the Great, when he started asking such questions. We have a whole cartload of sins of our own, but we don’t have enough time to figure out what and why; we have limited time to correct ourselves. But when we reach Paradise, then we will understand everything.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello. When my mother’s funeral service was held, she had an icon in her hands. What should I do with it? Thank you.

Lyudmila

Lyudmila, an icon is the Holy Image of the Mother of God, and we should keep icons at home (make a red corner) and pray to the icons. The fact that the icon was in the hands of the deceased is nothing to worry about. An icon is a Shrine, and any Shrine is only good for a person.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello, I have a question, my grandmother died on September 2, 2012, and now, on March 2, 2013, it will be exactly six months since she has been gone, is it possible to hold a wake for six months, and is the deceased remembered when he is not with us for six months?

Diana

Diana, such a tradition does not exist in the Orthodox Church; these are some kind of “Soviet” innovations and fantasies. You can remember the deceased at least every day - both with memorial services and personal prayer - but there is no need to organize anything special for six months.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father. My niece died, she was 40 years old, but she was not baptized. Before his death, they invited the priest, he read prayers, said, let's wait another half hour, he told the mother to read the Mother of God, while the mother was reading, the niece stopped breathing. This means that she remained unbaptized, how can we remember her now?

Valentina

Valentina, you can remember your niece at home prayer, give alms in memory of her soul and do other good deeds.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father! Uncle died on March 3 (Sunday), funeral on March 7. And they decided to organize a memorial 9 days on March 10 (Sunday). But it’s not 9 days yet or is that not prohibited? Can you tell me what funeral service to order? What else can I do? My uncle was a deeply religious man. Thank you.

Natalia

Hello, Natalia! The funeral meal can be moved to a day convenient for you. The main thing for the dead is our prayer. Order a magpie for repose, a memorial service and a Psalter for the deceased. And, of course, if the uncle was baptized, a funeral service in church is necessary.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

My mother-in-law died two weeks ago, it’s her son’s birthday, can we sit at home in a very small circle and celebrate? Modestly, without music.

Tatiana

Tatyana, for the first forty days the soul goes through air ordeals (this is a test of the soul for the life it has lived), and the soul needs our help - we must pray for it both at home and, especially, in church. You need to pray every day until the fortieth day. And of course, there can be no talk of any birthdays. You can celebrate your birthday only after 40 days.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

My daughter died on July 15, 2012 in an accident. She was baptized. She was only a year and a month old. Sinless soul. Tell me, who is now protecting my daughter? Which Saint should I pray to? Thank you.

Irina

Irina, indeed, in the church it is customary to understand that baptized sinless babies who pass away immediately go to the Kingdom of Heaven, and they become Angels there and pray for their family. You didn't write your daughter's name. Every Christian has a name in honor of the Saint, which is given to him at baptism. Your daughter must have had a Saint after whom she was named. The Patron Saint is determined at the time of baptism and he is assigned based on which Saint's memory is celebrated on the nearest day after birth. Now I can’t tell you this, you had to find out from the priest during baptism, besides, I don’t know what your daughter’s name was. Pray to the Saint in whose honor your daughter was named.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Dear father, my dad died, his 40th birthday falls on March 22, what should I do? Maybe we need to reschedule for some other day? Tell me please. Thank you in advance.

Alena

Alena, for the first forty days the soul especially needs our help, our prayer and the prayer of the church. The 40th day is the most important for the deceased; on this day they determine where to place the soul, in heaven or hell. It all depends on what kind of life a person led, and our prayer on this day is simply necessary. On March 22, you must celebrate a memorial service in the church and pray yourself on this day, submit a registered note for the Liturgy and attend the service yourself. No need to transfer. March 22 is the first week of Great (strict) Lent and no funeral services should be held on this day. The funeral itself can be postponed to March 24 and you need to remember that this is a strict fast, meat, dairy and fish products and alcohol cannot be placed on the table. The funeral must be strictly fast - this will bring great benefit to yourself, and especially to your late dad.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! Tell me, what to do with the bed on which my mother died, and with the clothes in which she lay? Some advise to burn it almost with the bed, others say wash it and use it. I would like to send disabled people to a home, but I don’t know what to do correctly so as not to harm myself and people.

Natalia

Natalia, after death, the soul of the deceased goes through ordeals and needs help, this is our prayer and the church’s prayer, almsgiving not only with money, but also with things, “alms delivers from death and covers many sins.” It’s best to wash and consecrate your mother’s things (you can sprinkle Holy water yourself at home) and distribute them to those in need, either use them yourself or throw them away - but I think there’s no need to burn them, it’s too much. Of course, underwear should not be given to anyone, it is indecent.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! Grandmother's death anniversary (one year) falls on March 17, Sunday. Tell me, will it be possible to arrange a wake? Thank you very much.

Elena

Elena, of course, a wake can be held on this day, especially since it is the last day before Lent. First of all, you need to celebrate prayerfully in church, pray during the Liturgy for the deceased, and order a memorial service. A funeral meal can be served, but without meat products. At Maslenitsa, according to church regulations, you can no longer eat meat; you can eat any products except meat.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello dear father, my mother died on February 15 at 8.30 in the morning. Tell me, please, does the 40th day fall on Monday, March 25, or is it still on Tuesday, March 26? Is it possible to have a wake on Sunday, March 24?

Oksana

Oksana, the day of death is considered the first day from which 40 days are counted, which means the 40th day will be March 25. This is a great strict fast, which means that the table must be strictly fast: without meat, dairy and fish products and without alcohol. The deceased needs prayer, and this is the main thing. On March 25, you must order a memorial service, a registered note of repose for the Liturgy, and pray at home yourself. It would be nice to go to the cemetery to visit the deceased on this day. The meal itself can be made on Sunday, March 24, but it will be Lenten.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

Hello, dear priests. My mother died without having time to confess or receive communion. She went to church, gave notes and ordered various requests for others. However, I have never been to confession. I know for sure that I expressed a desire to confess and take communion, but because of the bustle and worries about the household, I never got around to doing it. I invited the priest to visit her in the intensive care unit, but he did not give her communion, since her mouth was already taped shut and there were tubes sticking out everywhere. The priest said that she would wake up, but this did not happen. My question is: is it possible to hope for the salvation of my mother’s soul if she did not take communion, but before her death she managed to reconcile with everyone, prayed, and devoted her whole life to caring for others?

Tatiana

Yes, Tatyana, you can hope for the salvation of your mother’s soul, just don’t leave her, please, and support her with prayer, submit notes for her at the Liturgy and order funeral services - litias and memorial services.

Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

When a wake is organized for 40 days after a death, what should we say to those present? When you arrive, you should light a candle and pray for peace of mind, then you can simply stand and be silent, remembering the good moments from the life of the deceased person. The ceremony is carried out after the relatives of the deceased submit a note “On repose”. If, by coincidence, it is necessary to carry out the ceremony on an earlier date, then on the next weekend after the forties, it is necessary to give out alms. You should not perceive a wake as a feast. The main thing at a wake is to strengthen your strength in order to continue to tirelessly pray for the deceased. Many people think when they organize a wake for 40 days after a death: “What should I say?”... Still, you can remember a deceased person whenever you want.

Orthodox funeral

The next funeral service should take place on the ninth day after the death of a loved one. Everyone who knew the deceased well should be invited to the 40-day wake, or fortieth anniversary.

What is a wake?

Orthodox funerals are held on the third, ninth and fortieth day after the death of a person. And it is the memorial meal that is one of the obligatory funeral ceremonies dedicated to the memory of the deceased.

If the day of the funeral is a weekday on the calendar, then you can move it to the next weekend. Another important point in the question: “How to properly organize a wake for the deceased?” - this is an invitation from a priest. The presence of the priest at the first commemoration is especially important.

The funeral dinner according to Orthodox customs is held three times. On the day of the funeral - the first wake. On such a day, everything has special significance, which is why the menu for the funeral meal is special. Before you begin to commemorate, you should read the “Our Father” prayer. Then the ninetieth psalm or hold a litany. Throughout the feast, it is necessary to remember the deceased. This must be especially remembered when commemorating during fasting. What is important here is that the people gathered remember the deceased.

These are the so-called private commemorations (i.e., commemorations in honor of a specific person), in contrast to calendar commemorations - memorial meals and accompanying rites dedicated to all the dead. U Eastern Slavs The custom of visiting a grave on the day after a funeral (or the third day after death) is called “waking up the dead man” or “bringing breakfast to the dead man.” Such commemorations are held immediately after the funeral of the deceased. Throughout the feast, the deceased is remembered. If the day of the funeral falls on a weekday in other weeks of Lent, the funeral is moved to Saturday or Sunday.

Funerals for the 7th, 40th days and anniversary

Funeral services, which take place a week after death, on 40 days and on the anniversary, are usually held in a narrow circle of close relatives of the deceased.

Special days for this according to Orthodox custom are the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after death. Close people remember the dead on anniversaries, birthdays, and Angel Day. After the funeral, the family of the deceased gathers his relatives, friends and relatives for a memorial dinner, which is a continuation of the service and farewell. Orthodox commemorations after funerals are short-lived; they are also called mournful. Many signs and ceremonies associated with funerals and commemorations have come to us from distant paganism.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the deceased on the anniversary of their death. This is Saturday during Maslenitsa week, before Forgiveness Sunday. Radonitsa - the commemoration of the dead takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas Week (resurrection) and serves as a remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death. If the memory of the deceased occurs on a weekday during Lent, strictly according to the Charter, the funeral service is moved to the next Saturday. The dead are not remembered with wine! At the table you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - wake).

The main funeral is considered to be immediately after the burial of the deceased. Kutya is consecrated during the funeral service for the deceased in the church, then placed on the table. Pancakes with honey and jelly are considered the same obligatory dish, which is drunk after the funeral by all those leaving. At the end of the wake, thank everyone who came to share your grief and remember the deceased. This is what means the end of the wake. Only the closest relatives and friends are invited to the nine and forty day wakes.

If a man passes away, men come to ablutions. Only men bury the deceased: according to Muslim traditions, women are not allowed to attend the burial.

The essence and ritual of the funeral

The funeral dinner itself is a communal meal for close relatives and friends of the deceased, held in his home. It is advisable to combine the feast with a visit to the grave of the deceased. Do not forget that a wake is not just the need to eat and drink at the same table, but also a ritual filled with deep meaning. But these days, when wakes are often held in cafes, this custom is not always observed. It is possible to hold a funeral service during Lent. It is believed that on ordinary days, food at such a table should be simple and without frills.

A centuries-old tradition at funerals is to set a funeral table for those gathered on this day. The food at Orthodox funerals is special, and it is prepared in compliance with certain rules and traditions. They sit next to the place that is customarily left empty at all Orthodox funerals as a tribute to the memory of the deceased. When planning a funeral, it is important to think about your appearance and clothes, since the dress code is no less important than the preparation of dishes and the nuances of behavior at the funeral table. On the day of the funeral, in addition to the meal itself, it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased. During the meal, it is customary to behave quietly and listen to the prayers of the mullah. In the past, only men could sit at the funeral table; today, women share the meal equally with them.

After the funeral ceremony Orthodox rites It is customary to hold a funeral. With an abundance of alcohol and a variety of dishes, the funeral table is not inferior to a wedding or New Year's; loud conversations and laughter completely erase the differences. Meanwhile, in order to hold a wake specifically in memory of the deceased, and not for the entertainment of the living, you need to follow some rules.

You can perform this responsible action yourself, or you can entrust it to a ritual agent. Let's start with the location of the funeral.

On the day of the funeral, everyone present at the funeral is invited to a memorial meal. An important point is the consecration of this dish in the temple before the start of the funeral.

Christian tradition stipulates that the deceased should be commemorated at least three times. The tradition of preparing kutya for funerals, according to many historians, dates back to the times Ancient Greece. The meal usually begins with eating it. Leftover food is usually given to guests to take with them, so that they can remember the deceased with a kind word at home.

If the body of the deceased remains at home before the funeral, after embalming it is customary to wash it with warm water, (if the deceased is a baptized Orthodox) the “Trisagion” or “Lord, have mercy” is read. If the deceased is a baptized Orthodox Christian, they must wear pectoral cross. A crown is placed on the forehead of the deceased - a symbol of the deceased Christian’s observance of faith and his accomplishment of the Christian feat of life.

At home, the canon “Following the departure of the soul from the body” is read about the deceased Orthodox, and then the Psalter. In the Orthodox Church there is a pious custom of continuous reading of the Psalter for the deceased until his burial.

During the funeral meal, it is necessary to observe etiquette: do not talk loudly or laugh. The remaining food is distributed to guests so that they can remember the deceased at home.

If the deceased is a person baptized in the Orthodox faith, a funeral service is performed over him before burial. The text of the prayer of permission is placed by the priest in the hands of the deceased. According to church canons, the priest performs the funeral service in white robes, as in the rite of baptism of a person.

Previously, it was customary to dress the deceased in all white, and funeral clothes were prepared in advance. If during his lifetime a person prepared a suit or dress for a funeral, it is important to fulfill his desire.

If we are not talking about all-night prayer and Liturgy, then there is no point in keeping the body in church.

The simplest and most common option is to organize a wake in the house where the deceased lived.

And if you decide to prepare the funeral meal yourself, then the “Beautiful and Successful” website recommends that you take into account the tastes and culinary preferences of the deceased.

The Church does not perform funeral services for the dead who during their lifetime consciously renounced the Christian faith, and for suicides, unless the suicide was committed in a state mental disorder. In this case, it is better to pray intensely at home, perform acts of mercy for the suicide, give alms for him, that is, do everything that can bring comfort to his soul. If it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the church, and it is also not possible to invite a priest to the house, then an absentee funeral service can be held in the church. After the funeral service in absentia, the relatives are given earth (sand) from the funeral table. This earth is sprinkled crosswise over the body of the deceased.

During the week before Lent, a Slavic traditional holiday is celebrated - Maslenitsa. Rituals and rituals performed at this time will help you get rich, get rid of diseases and find personal happiness.

Maslenitsa is a national holiday that has a long history. Initially, the celebration was pagan, but over time Orthodox Church included it in the calendar of church holidays.

The celebration of Maslenitsa always begins on Monday and lasts for the rest of the week. On Sunday evening before the holiday, young people went out into the street to cheerfully celebrate it. The most important dish of Maslenitsa is pancakes. They are baked in large quantities, treating them to relatives, friends and acquaintances. During the holiday week, it is customary to visit guests and eat heartily the offered treats.

Rituals for Maslenitsa week

During Maslenitsa week, our ancestors performed many rituals. At this time, they said goodbye to winter and joyfully welcomed the coming spring, held fist fights, burned an effigy of Maslenitsa, and scattered its ashes over the fields so that they would bring a good harvest.

Each day of the week was celebrated in a special way and got its own name:

• Monday – “meeting”;
• Tuesday – “flirts”;
• Wednesday – “gourmet”;
• Thursday – “wide Thursday”;
• Friday – “mother-in-law’s evening”;
• Saturday – “Zalovka’s gatherings”;
• the last day of the week is “Forgiveness Sunday.”

Among the rituals that our ancestors performed, the following are especially popular:

• agricultural;
• marriage and family;
• funeral.

Marriage and family rituals for Maslenitsa

The most important Maslenitsa rituals include marriage and family customs.

A viewing party was organized for the newlyweds. They were placed in full view of the entire street and forced to kiss many times. Peasant women who had been married for a little over a year were harnessed to sleighs, and they had to ride their friends around the village, singing funny songs and telling jokes while doing this.

On Friday, the young sons-in-law went to visit their mother-in-law for pancakes. The mother-in-law treated her son-in-law and gave him compliments, so to speak “cajoled” him so that he would treat his wife well.

Another Maslenitsa ritual was practiced by our ancestors - the punishment of single guys. Young men who were not married were hung with stocks around their necks, to which a log was tied. The log symbolized the “other half” sitting on the neck. The guy had to walk around the village all day with the log, listening to the ridicule of his fellow villagers.

On Forgiveness Sunday, the celebration of Maslenitsa ended. The purpose of this day was to reconcile quarreling relatives and consolidate good relationships. On Forgiveness Sunday, they tried to finish all the food prepared for the holiday or give it to the poor. On this day, we went to the cemetery and worshiped the ashes of relatives, leaving pancakes on the graves.

Funeral rites for Maslenitsa

Maslenitsa memorial rites are associated with baking pancakes, burning an effigy of Maslenitsa and preparing funeral food. Traditionally, dishes were prepared from fish, which, through its muteness in folk culture, personified the souls of the dead.

Snow was used for fortune telling, considering it to represent the souls of the dead. When preparing pancakes from buckwheat flour, melted snow water was added to the dough.

During Shrovetide week it was forbidden to weave and spin. These prohibitions were observed for fear of causing harm to the souls of deceased relatives present nearby. The evening hours on Pancake Week were considered holy.

According to our ancestors, failure to comply with these prohibitions could bring a lot of misfortunes and misfortunes.

The Maslenitsa bonfire also belongs to the funeral rite. It served as a kind of invitation on the eve of fasting to deceased ancestors for a rich dinner.

The purpose of the ancient Russian Maslenitsa was to appease the spirits for all subsequent days of the year.

Agricultural rituals for Maslenitsa

The ancient Slavs always took the first baked pancake outside as a gift to Yaril and Vesna. It was laid on the ground so that the Sun would warm the fields, and the red Spring would come faster.

Ice slide skating was very popular during Maslenitsa week. In ancient times they believed that the further you slide down the hill, the greater the flax harvest.

Maslenitsa is a kind of holiday of gluttony. It was believed that the more satisfying the holiday was, the richer the year would be.

Today, many people wait for Maslenitsa not only to eat delicious food and have fun, but also to carry out various rituals. One of the most popular is the ritual for wealth.

If during Maslenitsa week you manage to find yourself outside the city, then you can perform an ancient Maslenitsa ritual to attract money. You need to light a fire and burn your old unnecessary things in it. By getting rid of the old, you open the way for the new into your life.

While things are burning, read this plot:

“I burn old and unnecessary things,

I open the door to something new in my life.

Let everything unnecessary go away

And Maslenitsa will bring me good luck and profit.”

There is another effective ritual for Maslenitsa that will help you get rich. Needed at the end of Maslenitsa week, i.e. on Monday, visit a place of public celebration. Walk there until you find a coin. Raising the coin with your left hand, read the spell:

“I, the servant of God (name), was walking, and on my way I found a coin. Just as I came to this money, let the money come into my hands on its own. No matter how many people there were for the holidays, I will have so much money. Amen!".

Bring the coin into the house and keep it until next year. A year later, when local festivities are held, the coin must be taken and thrown in the place where you found it.

Maslenitsa ritual for marriage

If you are single and dream of meeting your soulmate, during Maslenitsa perform a simple ritual that will help you soon find personal happiness.

The ritual for marriage on Maslenitsa is held on Sunday. Come to a crowded place where a holiday is celebrated, and, finding yourself among people walking, read the conspiracy to yourself:

“Maslenitsa has come and brought joy to everyone. Bring Maslenitsa happiness into my life, send me my destiny. Let a worthy person meet on my way, with whom I will find happiness forever. So be it. Amen".

After this you need to cross yourself three times.

Love spell for Maslenitsa

To make the guy you like reciprocate your feelings, cast a love spell on pancakes on Maslenitsa.

To do this, you need to replace the pancake dough and add a little holy water to it. When you knead, read the love words:

“I’m baking pancakes, I want you to like them. Just as spring comes to us with Maslenitsa, the sun warms us, and the snow melts, so the heart of the servant of God (name) towards the servant of God (name) will melt. He will think about me and miss me, yearn and grieve without me. As I say, so it will be. Amen".

After that, bake pancakes and treat your loved one.

• What to do when a loved one dies?


• Is it possible to have a funeral service at home?


• Why do they cover mirrors in the house?


• What prayers should I read for repose?


• How to properly organize a funeral?


• When can you go to the cemetery?


• How to pray for the dead?


• What to do on Parents' Saturdays and what notes to submit?

WITH death of loved ones... Everyone faces it sooner or later. The hour comes when a loved one has completed his earthly journey, and his soul ascends to its Creator. In a state of grief and sadness, people sometimes get lost and don’t know how to do everything right. Unfortunately, quite often relatives limit themselves only to holding wakes on memorable days and sending church notes about the repose. But this alone is not enough. What is our duty to the departed, how can we help our loved ones who are no longer around? We have collected the most important advice from experienced priests and recommendations from the site http://www.memoriam.ru

How to conduct Orthodox Christian on the last journey

• If a person has been diagnosed with a fatal disease and loved ones already know about his imminent death, it is necessary to remember that best preparation The transition to another world for any Christian is Confession and Communion. Since you cannot give communion to people who are unconscious (and the patient’s condition may worsen suddenly), you need to invite a priest in advance.


• A dying person, if he is conscious, can be given antidor and holy water. At this moment, the prayers of loved ones are especially important.


• If the approach of death becomes obvious, a special reading is read. "Canon for the separation of the soul from the body."


• After a person has rested (passed on to the Lord in another world), you immediately need to start reading “Following the departure of the soul from the body”(if it is not possible to invite a priest, then relatives or friends can read).


• After this, it is necessary to read the Psalter (preferably before the removal of the body continuously and, if possible, daily until the 40th day). It is better to read to loved ones, taking turns, since thanks to this prayer they themselves receive peace and consolation from the Lord. You can also order the reading of the Psalter in a temple or monastery. If it is impossible to ensure continuous reading of the Psalter, it is advisable to read it at least several psalms a day. It's better than nothing.


• Follows “At the end of the soul”, “At the end of the soul” and the Psalter does not have to be read directly near the dying person. If a person dies in a hospital, you can pray at home. The main thing is to help prayer to a loved one in these difficult moments for his soul.


• If a person rests on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Pascha to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then instead of the canon “After the departure of the soul,” the Paschal canon is read, and instead of the Psalter, the Acts of the Holy Apostles.


• The coffin is usually laid facing east. You can stick to this tradition.


• The deceased must wear a cross.


• Clothes for burial are chosen according to the worldly status of the deceased. Military personnel, firefighters, and police officers usually go to the coffin in uniform, while laypeople wear any clothing at the discretion of relatives or according to the will of the newly deceased. A shroud or church veil is traditionally used to cover the body.


• Hands are folded on the chest, right on top of left. A funeral cross is usually placed on the left, and a holy icon is placed on the chest (for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God).


• In church shops you can purchase a burial kit. It usually includes: funeral clothes, a whisk, a prayer of permission, a cross, a candle and an icon. The corolla is a strip of paper with the image of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and John the Baptist with a prayer "Trisagion" The crown symbolizes the faith of the deceased and his Christian life with trust in God and our prayerful hope that after the resurrection the deceased will receive a heavenly reward - an incorruptible crown from the Lord and bliss in the heavenly abodes. After the funeral service, the priest places the prayer of permission, along with the cross, into the hand of the deceased.


• You can prepare a burial kit in advance. Some Christians do this during their lifetime, remembering their death, which attunes the soul to an attentive and pious spiritual life.

Superstitions

• There is no need to cover mirrors, computers, televisions at home with fabric, put a glass of vodka, etc. - all these are superstitions of pagan origin that have nothing to do with Orthodoxy.


• The custom of cleaning the house after removing the body also does not need to be turned into a special ritual. The opinion that everything must be washed before the body is buried and that cleaning should be done by persons who are not related by blood to the deceased is also a superstition.


• The custom of leaving a glass of vodka, bread and other food in a cemetery is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by Orthodox Christians.


• In Soviet times, the custom was established to visit the cemetery on the first day of Easter, but this is not true. With God, everyone is alive, and Easter is a special time of all-encompassing joy for believers, therefore, during the entire Easter week, funeral prayers are not said. Traditionally, people go to the cemetery on Radonitsa (from the word “joy”) - this is the ninth day after Easter, when the first memorial service is celebrated after Easter week. We pray for our departed loved ones with hope in God's mercy and rejoice in the Bright Resurrection of Christ.

Funeral

• According to the Charter, the funeral service is performed only in the church. Only if there is no church nearby is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia or at home.


• During the funeral service according to the ancient rite of Christian burial, the priest blesses a handful of earth (sand) and sprinkles the coffin in a cross pattern. During the funeral service in absentia, the priest gives this sand to relatives. They also need to be sprinkled crosswise on the body of the deceased, and if the burial has already been completed, then sprinkled on the grave. The opinion that you should not bring sand home is also a superstition.


• Christians should accompany a loved one on their final journey in quiet prayer; deliberate mourning, loud sobs and screams are completely inappropriate.


• There is no need to invite an orchestra for a funeral: funeral music is depressing and interferes with prayer. During the transfer of the coffin to the church for the funeral service and from the church to the cemetery, it is usually sung "Trisagion"


• Monuments erected on the graves of deceased Christians are completely acceptable. Traditionally, crosses are placed on the graves of Orthodox Christians and flowers are brought.


• The inscriptions on monuments and wreaths should express not inconsolable grief and despair, but love and our faith. It is better to choose the words of the inscriptions from the Holy Scriptures and consult with the priest.

Funeral meals (wake)

• Funeral services on the day of the funeral (as well as on other established days) must be organized according to the Church Charter. Regarding the reasonable relaxation of fasting, you need to seek a blessing from a priest.


• “Commemoration” of the dead with any alcohol is absolutely unacceptable and is not a church tradition.


• According to the Charter, commemorations are not held on Sundays, twelve holidays and weekdays of Great Lent. During Great Lent, they are moved to the next Saturday before this day. But in practice there are exceptions, so it is better to consult with the priest personally.


• The custom of remembering the deceased should not turn into a simple reason for relatives to get together, discuss news and eat delicious food. A funeral meal is a type of alms that a family provides not only to relatives and friends, but also to others in need with a request for prayer for the deceased. Because prayer and almsgiving are the main reason for arranging funeral meals.


• Before a meal, you should definitely perform a lithium. To do this, you can invite a priest and ask him to preach a sermon for those present. If this is not possible, this rite can be performed by a clergyman or a layman.


• The first dish that is usually eaten at a wake is kutia (kolivo). These are boiled cereal grains (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - the sweetness and bliss that the righteous enjoy in the Kingdom of God. According to the Charter, the kutia must be blessed by the priest during the funeral service; if this is not possible, you need to sprinkle it with holy water.


• Instead of the meaningless atheistic phrase: “May he rest in peace,” you need to briefly pray: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Your newly departed servant [name], and forgive him (her) all his (her) sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• You cannot have idle conversations at the table, but you need to honor the memory of the deceased (hence the name - commemoration), because we remember him in prayers, remember his good deeds and good qualities.


• It is better to invite those in need first to the funeral table - the poor and wretched, children and old people. After all, you should initially strive to do alms in memory of the deceased, and not to please friends and relatives with a good feast.

By and large, a deceased person does not need a coffin, a grave monument, much less a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. These traditions are an external symbol of our prayer and without it they have no meaning. The soul of the deceased experiences a great need for our constant prayer, because it itself can no longer do good deeds and pray for itself. The greatest and most important thing we can do for the departed is to pray and do good deeds in honor of their blessed memory. This will be our main and invaluable help to loved ones who have passed on to another world.

Days of special remembrance of the dead

E There are special days of remembrance when special prayers are made for the deceased, which are consistent with the teachings of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave. These are the third, ninth and fortieth after death (in this case, the day of death is considered the first).

• Third day. The commemoration is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. According to Church Tradition, for the first two days the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the angel accompanying it through the places of earthly memories. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him.


• Ninth day. The commemoration is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as messengers of God and representatives to Him for us, petition for pardon for the newly deceased. Accompanied by an angel, the soul enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time the soul forgets all sorrow. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.


• Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary to accept the special Divine gift of God’s gracious help. Prophet Moses received the tablets from the Lord after fasting for forty days. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty-year journey. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place to stay until the Last Judgment.


• Anniversary. The reason for special commemoration of the dead on the anniversary of death is that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle. For the believer, this is a birthday memory for new, eternal life.

Ecumenical memorial services (Parents' Saturdays)

C The Church has established special days for the solemn general remembrance of the dead, which brings great help to our deceased loved ones. At the same time, memorial services are called Ecumenical, and the days on which commemoration is performed are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays.

• Meat Saturday. This is the Saturday of Maslenitsa week before Forgiveness Sunday. Dedicating this week to the remembrance of the Last Judgment, the Church established prayerful intercession not only for living, but also for dead Christians.


• Saturday Trinity. The commemoration was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit completed the dispensation of human salvation, and both the living and the deceased participate in this salvation.


• Parents' Saturdays 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent. On weekdays during Great Lent, funeral commemorations are not performed, since the full liturgy is not served at this time. Therefore, during the days of Great Lent, special Saturdays are set aside to commemorate the deceased.


• Radonitsa. The commemoration takes place on the Tuesday after St. Thomas Week and serves as a remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death. Also on this day, the Church Charter allows for the first time after Easter to perform the usual commemoration of the dead. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. This is where the name of this day came from - Radonitsa.

Church funeral services

• Funeral service- this is a prayer service for the soul of the newly deceased, performed once over the deceased. It can be done in absentia when it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the temple.


• Divine Liturgy- a service at which the main prayer for the repose of Orthodox Christians is performed.


• Memorial service- a prayer for the deceased, which is served after the liturgy - before the Holy Crucifixion.


• Sorokoust- This is the commemoration of the deceased during the liturgy for forty days. There are also longer periods - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal remembrance. Of course, it is better when more people pray for your loved one, so notes can be submitted an unlimited number of times in different monasteries and churches.


• There are also funeral litany, vespers and matins (parastas).

As for prayer for those who committed suicide, there is a rite of prayerful consolation to the relatives of those who have died without permission. In addition to performing the proposed rite, relatives and friends can take upon themselves, with the blessing of the priest, the private reading of the prayer of St. Leo of Optina. Most of all, such dead people are helped by the distribution of alms for them and the pious life of their relatives and friends.

Church notes

• Before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with the names of the deceased should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles are taken out of the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy are lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts.


• A cross is depicted at the top of the note, the type of commemoration is indicated below - "On Repose", then the names of those commemorated are written in the genitive case. The first to be mentioned are clergy and monastics, indicating their rank (for example, On the repose of: Patriarch Alexy, Metropolitan Proclus, Schema-Abbot Savva, Archpriest Alexy, nun Vera, John, Taisia, Alexander). All names must be in church spelling (for example: not Sveta, but Photinia).


• By submitting notes, we make a donation for charitable assistance to the temple and those in need.


• Don't worry if you don't hear your relatives' names mentioned during the service. The main commemoration takes place in the altar.

Adviсe

• On parental Saturdays, it is customary to visit churches and graves of deceased relatives, serve memorial services and funeral lithiums in churches and cemeteries, and arrange memorial meals. Meanwhile, the Church strongly advises not to forget about memorable dates: the birthday of the deceased, the dates of his death and name day. These days it is necessary to remember him especially.


• There is a pious custom of receiving communion on the days of remembrance of relatives and friends. Prayer of a man who has cleansed his soul by repentance and approached the Saints Mysteries of Christ, - is especially pleasing to the Lord.


• The simplest type of mercy is candles that are lit for repose. But on the memorable days of the deceased, it is very useful to make donations, give alms to those in need with a request to pray for their deceased relative. On eve(a table next to a crucifix and a rectangular candlestick) you can bring food - this is also our alms in memory of deceased relatives.


• We receive relief from the soul through the infinite goodness of God and our holy prayers, so we should not be embarrassed to ask the priests and, of course, constantly pray for our departed ones. Forever living soul feels a great need for constant prayer. Prayer is the most important and invaluable help that we can provide to those who have passed into another world.

Commemoration at home prayer

• Home (cell) prayer for neighbors is the duty of any Christian. The Church commands us to pray daily for the repose of our loved ones. Therefore, the text of the morning rule includes a prayer: “Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• You should pray especially earnestly for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. During this period, it is necessary to read the Psalter about the deceased, at least one kathisma per day. You can also read the funeral canon.


• It is more convenient to read names from a memorial book - a special book where the names of loved ones are written down for church and cell (home) commemoration. There is a pious custom of holding family synodics, by reading which Orthodox people remember many generations of their ancestors.

Prayer for the departed

Rest, O Lord, the souls of your departed servants (names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. Grant, Lord, remission of sins to all who have previously departed in the faith and hope of resurrection, our fathers, brothers and sisters, and create for them eternal memory.

Eternal truths

A St. Paul urges us not to indulge in intense grief: “I do not want you, brothers, to be ignorant about the dead, so that you do not grieve like others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, then God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”

1 Thess. 4:13-14

IN The greatest benefit to the deceased comes from prayers performed for them at the liturgy and alms given out, for nothing loaned to God will perish, everything is returned in great abundance.

Venerable John of Damascus

M We are afraid of death because we live in negligence and do not have a clear conscience. So let’s begin to better fear sin, for what is terrible in death is all from sin.

Saint John Chrysostom

WITH try to live in such a way that in your hour of death you will rejoice rather than be afraid. We are born to die and die to live. Love death as a friend who leads us to God.

Venerable Neil of Sinai

IN All people die, but not all die the same death. Righteous and sinful people die differently. A bad life has a bad ending. The righteous person is never as close to his happiness as at death. What he wished for during his life is fulfilled for him at the hour of death. Live holy to die holy.

Saint Innocent, Archbishop of Kherson and Tauride

L love spiritually unites those who are separated by place and time... We should not so much cry for the dead as pray so that when they are in a blessed life, they too will pray for us.

Filaret, Archbishop of Chernigov

TO Just as one who has fallen asleep in the evening awakens in the morning with renewed strength of life, so one who has fallen asleep through bodily death will awaken into a new, immortal life on the day of general resurrection.

Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh consoled the relatives of the deceased with these words:

"P It is not Christian to grieve over the dead. Dejection and sadness disrupt everything. Despondency is the lot of those who do not know God and do not believe in Him. We must pray to the Lord that He will grant salvation and the Kingdom of Heaven to the departed! We think of death as a separation, but we forget that death is at the same time a meeting of the soul with God, an entry into that fullness of life that is not available to anyone on earth. That is why, through tears, we can rejoice for the deceased. His time of struggle and suffering, quest and sorrow has ended, and now he is in another world, where he reigns eternal love! And we mysteriously contemplate the majestic meeting of God and man... The moment when a person’s earthly journey ends and he comes to his present home, where he is endlessly loved and waited.”